Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Back from the Abyss

I've been away from this blog for awhile.  Unintentionally.  Thanksgiving hit me like a ton of bricks.  Emotionally I went somewhere else.  Deep inside.  Way deep.  The holiday known for the gathering of family cut me to the quick as our family, as we knew it, is no longer with the passing of my father.

Thankfully, my wonderful friends came by with turkey, ham, and all the fixins'.  Mom and I were so glad to see them, but once they left the sorrow that the day brought lingered with me for weeks.  Compound that with the fact that Dickens has developed some issues and I have a recipe for the blues.  It has been a learning experience.

It is clear that I don't roll as some folks do.  I don't react immediately to my feelings.  I stuff them somewhere like a emotional suitcase.  Eventually my baggage springs open unleashing its contents forcing me to deal with what's going on inside.  I'd rather not even bother with it all until I come up with a game plan.  It's imperative  to sort things out and determine what "stuff" bears repacking and what to leave behind. 

As Dickens enters his "teenage" years, his aggression has grown.  At the risk of anthropomorphizing the situation perhaps this world overwhelms or overstimulates this little guy to the point where he feels the only way to get through it is to become his own Alpha.  I know that can happen.  Perhaps he's just a little bully.  That can be turned around.  I'm sure of it.  In the meantime, he needs to learn who runs this cottage.  I need to help him repack his suitcase.  Help him get rid of those dark emotions that he cannot take with him.

In a way we are both in the same place. 

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