Monday, June 17, 2013

If I Monday, I Must be Running...

Monday knocked on my door at 4 AM.  Much as I love sunrises, birdsong, and solitary walks with Dickens, 4 AM crosses the line.  Yes, I'm an urban farmer, but honestly my garden beds do quite well at 5 AM.

Dickens looked up at from his quiet repose with a quizzical look as if to say, "Not my problem."  Mom just wanted to chat.  At 4 AM.  I. Do. Not. Chat. At. 4 AM.  Ditto 3 AM.  I don't know my name at that hour.

Mom wakes up and starts to call me.  She has a habit of calling me repeatedly until she physically sees me.  As I stumble to the bathroom the conversation goes something like this:

Mom:  JD!!!!  JD!!!!JD!!!!
Me:  Mom I'm coming, I just have to dash to the bathroom.
Mom:  What?  What?  What?
Me:  I'll be right there.
Mom:   JD!!!!  JD!!!!JD!!!!
Me:  I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, I'M IN THE BATHROOM!
Mom:  What?  What?  What?
Me:  (rushing to take care of business)  I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!
Mom:  Mom:  What?  What?  What?
Me:  I'll be right there.
Mom:   JD!!!!  JD!!!!JD!!!!
Me:  I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, I'M IN THE BATHROOM!
Mom:  What?  What?  What?
Me:  (rushing to take care of business)  I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!
Mom:  Mom:  What?  What?  What?

This dialogue goes on ad infinitem until I present myself to her looking like something from the movie "Zombies".  She might require a drink or to query me on a dream she's had that I honestly can't track.  This little early morning episode concludes with her asking to go back to sleep.  After tucking her in,  I dream of catching another hour's sleep.

I drag myself back to the bedroom only to be greeted by a wide awake Dickens who needs a short walk of his own.  I crawl into my clothes, snap on his harness, and off we go.  As we re-enter the house, I drop his leash.  As it drops onto the carpeted floor I hear a question from the Mom's bedroom, "What was that?"


Every day is Groundhog Day-sleep optional.


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