Sunday, June 23, 2013

Rocksalot Cottage: Letter from My Inner Caregiver

[I named my inner caregiver "Amelia."  She's quiet, sweet, and emerges when times get tough.  Amelia has thet unique ability to raise me when I'm down and elevate my self-esteem.  The following memorializes Amelia's visit yesterday. ]

Amelia:  You OK?
Me:  No not really.  I'm having a Black Dog Day.  Learned that's what Winston Churchill dubbed his depressed days.
Amelia:  OIC, I've been watching and waited for you to get it all out before we had a chat.
Me:  I think I'm too far gone for that.  Look at me even with five minutes to myself I've make five mistakes on this knitting project.
Amelia:  Um, do you think that maybe you're doing this to yourself?  Do you think you need to accept where you are in order to change it?  Do you think that the pressure you put on yourself might be a tad unrealistic?
Me:  Do you think I really need to hear this now?  Do you think it's easy being a caregiver?  Do you think it's easy trying to keep a person safe, train a dog, homekeeping, bill paying, and not knowing what the future holds?
Amelia (handing me a tissue): I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm saying that perhaps you can make it easier on yourself.  Let's just review yesterday, for example:

Dickens has barking fit at 5:15 AM:  You wake and take him out.
Return from walk, make the dog's breakfast, & wait for coffee
Feed dog
Make Mother's breakfast while sipping coffee
Mom listens to South Pacific during breakfast
Take Dickens out for 1st mile.
Wash bedding
Make second cup of coffee
Call a friend
Pick up prescriptions at pharmacy  (BTW, you forgot one)
Do dishes
Help your mother bathe, dress.
Make third cup of coffee
Prepare lunches (Mom's and Dickens)
Grab handful of potato chips to tide you over until ???
Help Mom to living room for more political news
Take Dickens out for 2nd mile
Prepare and cook dinner
Stop yourself from going for 4th cup of coffee 
Continue laundry
Empty trash
Help Mom to bathroom and back
Eat leftovers from last night's dinner
Serve dinner to Mom & Dickens (promise yourself to eat later.)
Serve dessert
Take Dickens for evening emptying.
Mom goes to bed at 10 PM.
Me:  Not a very productive day.  Look at this place!

Amelia:  That's my point, Lady.  It'll never get done unless you pace yourself.  If you keep going "balls to the wall," you'll be done but the house will remain the same.

Me:  OK, OK.  You're right.  We have to take care of each other which brings me to the topic of chore sharing.  Amelia, you haven't been doing your part.

Amelia:  What do you want from me?  I only an inner child!  I've gotta go and give you a craving for potato chips.  That'll teach you a lesson.  Buh Bye!

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